I Am Who I Chose To Be

This is a partial re-posting of a blog I wrote over a year ago titled Who or What is God and I think is worth repeating.

SJ – My intention is to share wisdom garnered from my life; from my own soul memories and from my muse whom I have named Joshua.

 SJ – All that I am I chose to be?

Joshua – That’s right

SJ – God didn’t do it?

Joshua – Nope

SJ – And I also chose the people in my life?

Joshua – The important ones.

SJ – What about the circumstances?

Joshua – Well, those are circumstances.

SJ – How about my feelings?

Joshua – You chose those too.

SJ – Is God responsible for anything?

Joshua – As a matter of fact he is. He created this magnificent planet and then let you live in it, proud artist that he is.

SJ – And like you said before, it was my bright idea to come here?

Joshua – Right again. You’re beginning to catch on.


What’s Wrong With Me?

SJ – I know I should eat right, exercise my body and my brain, meditate etc., but I feel like I’m standing in quicksand, going nowhere. What’s wrong with me?

Joshua- Your body suffers the condition of your mind and soul.

SJ – You mean I look like I am?

Joshua –  Exactly!

SJ – Ouch!  Have you looked at me lately? I could stand to lose a few pounds.

Joshua – How much negative energy are you carrying around?

SJ- A lot and none of it is my fault.

Joshua – Making a joke are we?

SJ – Okay some of it is, but have you seen the state of the world? Have you seen my life, the choices I made?

Joshua – Exactly! Choices you made. Remember your soul is not here just for grins, it has an agenda.  Your body is simply a vehicle for the soul to experience a wide range of emotions and to learn to come to terms with human feelings.

The gifts or talents your body inherits are used to sustain your human condition and that of your community. Your gifts reflect your soul’s agenda, the condition of your soul, and what your soul needs to do in this life experience.

SJ – So my gifts or talents are to be used for something other than a caressing of my ego?

Joshua – The way in which you choose to use or not uses these gifts is a reflection of the condition of the health of your mind; meaning how well you are able to keep your ego in check.

SJ –To get back to my soul’s agenda:  I was not quite the innocent baby I thought I was?

Joshua – Not quite, your soul brought some baggage with it: Karma from past lives; lessons it needs to learn, wrongs it needs to right etc.

There is a purpose and reason for every soul born onto this earth. It’s up to you to figure out what that is and to accomplish that goal.

Souls shop for a body just as you shop for clothes. You know what you want to spend, where you want to go in them and what function these clothes will have. Your soul chooses its parents based on the physical DNA and the environment the parents can offer in order for the soul to experience the obstacles it needs to overcome for spiritual advancement.

SJ – You mean moral issues?

Joshua – More like life lessons. In order for souls to learn from their human experience they use each other to experience different realities. Let us say in one lifetime you experienced the pain of rejection and abandonment from your father. In your next lifetime the roles may be reversed.

It is hard to understand how the soul works with the body but let me explain this to you: The soul is you. You are not your body. You are your soul. Your body is simply your vehicle. How you treat your body is a reflection of the condition of your soul. An abused body is telling you that your mind needs work; a dysfunctional mind is telling you that your soul needs work.

Respect your soul and your body will function better.

SJ – So if I want my body to be healthy I should see to the health of my soul?

Joshua – Don’t forget the mind, the three cannot be separated until the soul chooses to return to its source.

Father, Son and Holy Ghost is a metaphor for Mind, body, spirit. In man the concept of “the Trinity” is created as it is in heaven.

SJ – I feel like my personal trinity is in a constant struggle. Can I become aware of my own soul sickness and cure the body?

Joshua – The soul is in charge here. There comes a time when the soul is ready to leave the existence it was forced into. That is why it is so hard to exercise, eat well, stop smoking etc. You know better and you know what to do but the soul has its own agenda.

SJ – Are you suggesting that when the soul has had enough of the body (the body it chose) it will callously say farewell, so long, see you? Are you seriously suggesting that we are helpless in the face of the soul’s wants and needs?

Joshua – If the soul cannot get the body on the right path to accomplish the goal it has set for itself, or if it has already accomplished that goal and sees no reason to stay, then yes, it’s going home.

SJ – We can’t overcome our souls, ourselves? Willpower is not what it’s all about? I am distressed. I care about my body.

Joshua – No you don’t. It’s of little consequence to you. It must suffer the soul’s sickness so that the soul will seek healing.

SJ – So the body is letting the soul know that the soul needs help?

Joshua – Yes and I repeat this because this answer is important: Just as the three in heaven are one, so are you. Just as God, the Son and the Holy Ghost are three in one, so are you. You are mind, body and spirit.

The physical world is a choice of experiences to help you to know God and for God to know you.

SJ – So I have to use my mind to its fullest potential, exercise my body and pray or meditate for the sake of my soul. I think I’ve heard this somewhere before.

Different By Design

Joshua – You are all different by design so that you may achieve the awesome experience of unity.  You are imperfect by design so that you may enjoy the awesome experience of achievement.

SJ – So do we feel sadness by design?

Joshua – No that’s your doing.

SJ – Joy?

Joshua – That is completely up to you.

SJ – How about anger?

Joshua – Again, up to you. Why do you think you don’t feel happy all the time?

SJ – Somebody is annoying me or causing me pain.

Joshua – Because they’re different?

SJ – No because they’re annoying!

Joshua – Do you have to let them annoy you?

SJ – That’s kind of my job.

Joshua – How so?

SJ – If I’m mad, I’m inclined to set them straight.

Joshua – And you think it’s your job to set everyone straight?

SJ – Sometimes; not all the time.

Joshua – The Universe will take care of its own. So relax and take care of your own self.

SJ – That would work if everyone did that but it’s never going to happen.

Joshua – It could, if one by one you give it a try; take one step at a time.

SJ – Isn’t this what you’re doing, setting me straight?

Joshua – I am, after all, your spirit guide. Besides you asked and I’m just giving you information. As you know, I’m not human.

SJ – Please forgive my irreverence.  Did God create this situation? Did he design our imperfections; are differences?

Joshua – No you did.

SJ – Why would we do that?

Joshua – Remember you were souls first. You saw the planet and had the free will to come here.

SJ – So we’re the fallen angels?

Joshua – Not in the sense you mean. You are not devils but you did cause negative energy.

SJ – Which is the opposite of God’s positive energy?

Joshua – Correct.  When you first set foot on the planet. . .

SJ – You mean when we first had feet, ha!  Sorry, I’m being irreverent again.

Joshua – Okay when you first had feet. . .you arrived in wonderment and joy; then you felt bewilderment and fear.  Thinking that this should be the state of the world you continued with these emotions.

SJ – So how do we get out of this mess we’ve created?

Joshua – As a whole you all like it here so you and the planet are not going anywhere for a while. But as individuals you can choose to not return to the physical world, in physical form.

SJ – How?

Joshua – You do this by growing spiritually while you are still in human form.

SJ – So that we don’t have to come back again and again?

Joshua – Eventually your soul will be so saturated with positive energy you will choose to stay in spirit form for eternity; at least until you decide to give it another go, just for fun.

SJ – Can’t we just choose to stay in spirit form?

Joshua – No. You have to earn your way to God.

SJ – Just like all the religious leaders tell us.

Joshua – Yes, but that’s another discussion. I think we’ve covered enough for now.

SJ – Thank you for spending time with me.

Joshua – You are most welcome!



SJ – I’m new to blogging but let me just say that I will do my best to faithfully enter words on my blog as they come to mind. My intention is to share wisdom garnered from my life, from my own soul memories and from my muse whom I have named Joshua.   Are we ready?

Joshua – Today we will talk about salvation and what it takes for your soul to reach God.

SJ – Remind me again of who “we” is, please.

Joshua – We are the positive spiritual angels and guides who are assigned to each and every one of you. Some of us have lived before on your planet and some have never walked the earth. 

SJ – Since you’re in the spirit world can you answer this for me: Who or what is God?

Joshua – I don’t know. He just is. He is light. He is energy. He is massive. You are all a part of him and your souls have memories of him. You were once a part of that energy but when the material world formed you wanted to explore the earth. To fully enjoy its fruits and sensations you had to become a solid form. However, you were not released into form to struggle alone.

SJ – Why were we allowed to release into form?

Joshua – You have always had free-will and that will never change. You released yourselves into the material world. You enjoy it but now you are not sure how to get back to God.

SJ – So are we stuck here permanently?

 Joshua – Jesus, the Buddha and others came here to show you the way. The way of course is love but you have to learn how to love again, unconditionally.

SJ – Sounds like we are going to have to work really hard for our salvation?

Joshua – Your salvation is simply that you exist. You exist in God’s image, in every possible way imaginable.

SJ – I was taught that I am sinful and born in shame?

Joshua – How could you be created in God’s image and be sinful and shameful? You came to the planet expecting to receive and give love the way it was received and given where you came from.

SJ – Talk about a rude awakening!

Joshua – You learned fear and self-hatred, didn’t you? Your salvation will come when you learn to love yourself. Love yourself as God’s most precious gift to mankind and conduct yourself as such. You are each a stepping stone for creating a better life on the planet. You are also each a stepping stone for consciousness development and for spiritual growth.

Remember you are all just energy taking on form. Your DNA is the creation of energy, energy that can transmit to other dimensions and vice versa.

SJ – Does that mean we could make our bodies dematerialize, like in Star Trek movies “beam me up Scottie”?

Joshua – Yes. Aren’t you excited about that?

SJ – Forgive me if I sound skeptical. I’m pretty sure I can’t do that.

Joshua – The human cell develops the qualities for physical survival by evolution – trial and error because they have memory. The human cells also know how to create enough positive energy to return the soul to its source.

SJ – So what’s stopping us from returning to our “source”?

Joshua – Did I mention you like it here, usually, or rather your ego likes it here. There are pleasures that you can only get by having a body. It’s your soul that wants to stay with the source. And so there is this never ending struggle between the soul, mind and body.

SJ – Are we talking about good and evil here?

Joshua – We are talking about negative and positive energy. Positive energy is light, where your souls want to stay. But your minds and bodies insist on weighing yourselves and the planet with negative energy. Negative energy created by the mind’s ego. Negative energy created because of the body’s need for survival and its fear that there are not enough resources to go around. And, of course, the ego created greed but that’s another topic.

SJ – And the soul only gets one shot at convincing the body to be a good little person so that it can go and stay in heaven?

Joshua – I was wondering when you were going to work that question in the conversation. You want to know about reincarnation don’t you?

SJ – How well you know me. I guess you want to go back to talking about energy.

Joshua – You and your God need the positive energy. The creation of positive energy feeds into the universe and helps it to expand.

SJ – One of the Big Bang theories, am I right?

Joshua – Based on the message we hear from God, the expansion theory is the correct one.

SJ – And what is that message from God?

Joshua – The message from God is: I am your creator; from my energy comes your energy. If my energy grows dim it is of your making. If you extinguish this light there will not be another for eons to come. Follow me to the bright light and you shall know bliss.

SJ – How can we mere mortals extinguish the light?

Joshua – You could extinguish it by increasing negative energy. Unfortunately you have a vested interest in keeping the balance between negative and positive going. 

SJ – Why?

Joshua – If the scale tips too far in the positive (or negative) the material world will cease to exist. Your soul’s expectation and hope is that it will exist eternally in the light of the Positive Energy force.

SJ – But those of us who enjoy all the pleasures on earth like food and sex; we want to keep it going?

Joshua – Yes you do, until the going gets tough.

SJ – You mean like war and famine. That’s when we really get “religion”.

Joshua – You said it, I didn’t. Your salvation will come when you realize that your ego is not the reason for your existence, it is for “the energy source” that you exist. You are your soul, not your body. It is your soul that matters here. And it is your soul that removes you from the planet whether you want to go or not.

SJ – You mean when my soul has had enough it’s “out-of-here” and my body goes to dust?

Joshua – Exactly, when your soul is ready to check-out, no amount of medicine or precaution is going to keep you here.

SJ – So the salvation we’re looking for will actually mean the end of physical time as we know it? We’re to expect an explosion of Positive Energy so powerful the Universe will expand because that is what the source wants?

Joshua – you’re making this sound like a bad thing. Would you rather sink into the black hole of negative energy?

SJ – Either way we will cease to exist?

Joshua – You will cease to exist in physical form but you are not your body, you are your soul. And your soul knows the bliss that awaits all of you; a bliss that your mind and ego have forced you to forget. However, every cell in your body remembers it which is why you repeatedly turn to religious leaders for help, or to addictions.

SJ – Like drugs, alcohol, food, sex etc.

Joshua – Yes, the list is long. Your body is trying to find the bliss its soul once knew and that its cells remember. However, as you know, bliss in the physical world is a fleeting thing. And sometimes the means to that end can be very destructive.

SJ – That should make the soul happy since its trying to go home.

Joshua – Not really. All of these addictions and the bad behaviors that come with them only create more negative energy; negative energy the soul must make amends for.

SJ – The next life on earth?

Joshua – Back to that are we. Maybe next time we’ll talk about reincarnation, or maybe not.

SJ – You can be sure I’ll be back to hear what you have to say.  Love you Joshua.

Joshua – Love you too Soundest Jewel.  And remember:

You are all just energy taking on form.

Sex is not just about body parts.

SJ – So Joshua, are spirits male and female?

Joshua – Your sex or rather your gender is not just about body parts. It is how you perceive the world, how you treat the world, and what you expect from the world. Unlike humans, spirits have no worries about physical body maintenance but they still have ‘gender’ maintenance.

SJ – Okay you had me at “your sex”. Go on…

Joshua – Physical attraction does not exist in the spirit world but we are still drawn to one another’s esprit. The consequences of your behavior on earth will glow like a neon sign in your spiritual energy globe. Everyone will know what relationship lessons you need to learn to grow wiser; and the ones you’re willing to teach. There will be volunteers galore willing to help you learn these lessons in your next life.

SJ – You make it sound like a dating pool. Besides how would we recognize each other once we’re reincarnated on earth?

Joshua – Soulmates are quite capable of finding each other. They will orchestrate all manner of events, travel miles to places unexpected to find the one who will help them grow spiritually.

SJ – Or make each other miserable? 

Joshua – How did you get so cynical, my sweet soul?

SJ – It’s a long story. Maybe I ignored the signs and just went for the looks.

Joshua – You know very well that you were never attracted to a man based only on his looks.

SJ – Of course, I don’t fall for every good looking guy that comes along but down here on the planet I have eyes. Never mind, I get what you’re saying. Next question: So why are we two genders?

Joshua – Try to imagine the world with only one sex.

SJ – Well for some that could be enticing but not for me.

Joshua – What would you learn about life if there was only one sex. For that matter what would you learn about yourself if you weren’t with someone so totally opposite from you trying to figure you out. Someone who keeps bouncing ‘yourself ‘ right back at you. A self that you have to look at and question. Because when you first projected your words onto this other human being who loves you, whatever you were saying made sense; whatever you were doing seemed like a good idea. Then he begged to differ or in other words you have some “splaining to do, Lucy”.

SJ – First of all I was never with a man who “begged to differ”.  It was more like “are you insane?” and a few other choice words. But I’ll admit I’ve had some “splaining” to do but mostly I’ve been the one demanding the explanation from some guy.  I might add, this seems to be the case with most couples. Frankly, I’ve never really been able to change any man’s behavior.

Joshua – But you kept trying didn’t you?

SJ – Your point?

Joshua – This loving one another inspite of your differences is what generates the positive energy that the Universe is desperate to accumulate. And it is your differences that bring about the soul lessons you are all on the planet to learn. Make no mistake, male and female, you absolutely need one another to continue human existence on earth.

SJ – I don’t think I’ve ever felt that blissful “soulmate” feeling with anyone or that “we’re gonna ride off into the sunset and live happily ever-after” feeling.

Joshua – Really?

SJ – You sound skeptical. Is it because I’m no “spring chicken”?

Joshua – You really need to find some new quotes. Who says that stuff anyway? So have you ever loved anyone who made you crazy, who “pushed your buttons”?

SJ – Now who’s using the corny quotes? The answer is yes. I’ve been driven crazy many times.

Joshua – Well then, you might just have met your soulmate.

SJ – Please tell me we can have more than one soulmate in one lifetime.

Joshua – Of course you can. But proceed with caution next time.

It’s all about Energy.

It’s All About Energy

SJ – So Joshua today we’ll just have a general conversation. You start, the forum is all yours:

Joshua – You are all just energy taking on form.

SJ – Are you God?

Joshua – I’m just a messenger come to give you news.

SJ – Soul news, I’m guessing.

Joshua – Of course. You are one soul, many heartbeats. The soul existed before the heart, and will exist after the heart stops beating. After a while the soul will have another heart. You are always the same soul traveling through time having different bodies and different life experiences. Some of your family you will have known before and some will be new but you are brought together to fullfill the destiny of each.

SJ – How can I help another fulfill his or her destiny?

Joshua – By example; by following your own calling; finding your own bliss. When other people see this they will follow suit. You are each a building block for your survival upon this earth and for your journey to bliss.

SJ – As you know, Joshua, we are flawed human beings.

Joshua – You are all created different and you are imperfect by design.

SJ – what?

Joshua – Perfection and sameness would not create an atmosphere of one. It is the struggle that teaches each of you the way to God, and mistake you not that is your reason for existance. Finding God is the reason for eveything that happens on this earth.

SJ – What’s your take on love and marriage.

Joshua – Because you love another soul you grow, and that is the purpose of love and marriage. Humanity cannot exist without male and female love but more importantly souls cannot survive without the existence of bodies. Man and woman. . .without each other you cannot attain the awesome experience of unity. So embrace your differences for they are not only your means for survival but a blessing from God.

SJ – So is this just a dress rehearsal for unity with God?

Joshua – It is in body form that your soul fulfill its mission.

SJ – Is our mission to get back to paradise or heaven?

Joshua – When you are truly a global village with every man his brother’s keeper, then and only then, will you find the bliss promised to you.

SJ – You mean we create are own bliss and return ourselves to paradise?

Joshua – You never left the Garden of Eden. You just can’t see it anymore. But it’s still here waiting for all of you to open your eyes.

SJ – Thank you Joshua, we’ll talk again soon.


The subject today is about ANGER!

SJ –I’m new to blogging but let me just say that I will do my best to faithfully enter words on my blog as they come to mind. My intention is to share wisdom garnered from my life; from my own soul memories and from my muse whom I have named Joshua.   Are we ready?

Joshua – So here is the truth I gave you many years ago and the one that sticks in your mind: You are all just energy taking on form. 

You are made up of millions of molecules that are moving constantly. I call it vibrational energy. This energy responds to your emotions and what your brain thinks your emotions should be.

SJ –Can our vibrations be changed by external forces?

Joshua – Music can change your emotions instantly; hear a sad song and you cry, hear a happy, upbeat song and your body starts to move with joy, angry songs can put you in a bad mood. If melodies, beats and lyrics coming from an outside source have this much power over you, think what you can do to control your own vibrations. This is a skill you can learn and is most useful when you feel a bout of rage coming on. It takes some practice but you can consciously change your mood and thus change your vibrations or change your vibrations and thus change your mood. It works both ways. If you practice this often enough you will find that you eventually will become slow to anger. Rage will no longer control your life. And won’t that feel good?

SJ –Sounds great but how do we do that?

Joshua – First by becoming aware that you are the only one in control of your emotions. Others may say or do things that feel like an attack but they can not force you to become angry. Usually they are not even aware of you because they are expressing something inside of them that has nothing to do with you. And you in turn are reacting from something that happened to you when you were two or fifteen years old or just that morning.

You can choose to not be angry. It’s as simple as that. You know how it feels to get angry don’t you? It looks like that thermometer with the red line crawling up the scale. It starts somewhere in your belly and grabs your heart. Your pulse races, you start breathing rapidly and your temperature rises until it feels like your brain is on fire and the more you think about why you’re angry, the angrier you get. Am I right? See I have not forgotten how that feels. Anger is a powerful emotion and it can become an addiction.

SJ – Are you calling anger an addiction?

Joshua – Yes, addictions are about managing or masking your pain and your fears. Addictions afford you the option of not facing and therefore taking control of your life. Anger comes because you are in pain and when you rage at someone you are not being reasonable. You are just spewing your pain onto someone else. And if they respond to you with their anger things escalate to . . .well you know the rest.

SJ – So do we deal with anger the way we do addictions?

Joshua – You got it. But I will admit anger is a tough addiction because it’s a soul addiction.

SJ – Aren’t all addictions soul addictions?

Joshua – Yes, but most addictions cause physical problems; problems that put you and others on the alert and get you moving to seek solutions. Anger is insidious.

SJ – What do you mean?

Joshua – Insidious because we have all lived with anger for so long we think that it’s normal and because the angry person gets enormous relief once he or she has spewed their inner poison onto someone else. Even when other people get wise and move away or leave them it’s rarely blamed on the core problem.

SJ – Explain?

Joshua – The angry person will blame the break up on the other person who is ‘stupid or psychotic or in love with someone else’ etc.

The truth is that someone trying to live with an angry person is short on options. They can stay and eventually face an emotional or physical breakdown or they can leave. They may choose the option of not responding to the angry person but when angry people can’t get that ‘gasoline poured on a fire’ response they are craving. . .they leave.

SJ – You mean they go and find someone else?

Joshua – Yes, they need a target for their rage. When their victim just walks away or does not respond they feel like they’re holding a ball full toxic waste with nowhere to throw it. And with no one willing to catch the ball it’s all going to have to go back inside.

SJ – And it they can’t get the response they need, it can escalate into violence?

Joshua – Well of course but that’s another lesson and I know you’re tired and you have a physical world to deal with today. So goodbye my sweet soul.

SJ – Goodbye Joshua and thanks for the words of wisdom.